Therapeutic Alliance

Starting therapy can feel scary or uncomfortable, especially when you do not know what to expect. What will I talk with my therapist about? Do I have to ask them questions? Or do they give me advice? In reality, when you’re starting therapy, both you and your therapist bring different tools, suggestions, and conversations to the table. You: the expert in your life and your story. Your therapist: the expert in the work. Together, you’ll find ways to work collaboratively to create what we call a “therapeutic alliance,” also known as a therapeutic relationship. 

You’re probably thinking, 'What do I need to find in a therapist to get this relationship?' It starts by looking for a therapist who will invite your feedback, respect your boundaries, and honor your identities and lived experiences. This person will help you understand why you are the way you are and go deeper into what may be helpful for you to work on. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel seeing this individual, what the experience is like in sessions, and having them identify goals with you. Not all therapeutic alliances are an ideal match or fit, but that’s okay! Asking yourself these questions can allow you to deepen your sense of what you’re looking for and what you’re not. Your relationship with your therapist is essential, and through that relationship, therapy can become a space where you are understood, supported, safe, and empowered.