Side by Side

There are moments in life that feel so emotionally significant that language struggles to hold them. This past weekend was one of those moments for me.

Seven years ago, I met a student whose face looked like a deer in headlights. Nervous. Unsure. Overwhelmed. Over the years, I had the privilege of watching him grow into himself. He completed his master’s degree, became a licensed marriage and family therapist, entered a doctoral program in clinical psychology, and this weekend, graduated with his doctorate.

Somewhere along the way, he asked me one of the greatest honors I have ever received: to hood him at graduation.

For those outside of academia, hooding is part of the doctoral graduation ceremony. The graduate chooses someone meaningful to place the doctoral hood on them as they cross into this new chapter of their professional life.

Years ago, when I worked in academia and attended graduation ceremonies, I would quietly watch students choose who would hood them. I remember having a fleeting thought back then, almost too vulnerable to fully admit to myself: I wonder if I’ll ever get to do that for someone someday.

This weekend, I did.

I wore my doctoral regalia. He wore his own regalia. We stood side by side, walked onto the stage together, and I placed the hood over his shoulders as he became a doctor.

Even writing those words now feels surreal.

What surprised me most was not just the pride I felt for him. It was the overwhelming realization of how deeply we impact one another across time. As clinicians, supervisors, professors, mentors, and colleagues, we spend years pouring into people without always knowing what stays with them. The work often feels quiet and invisible. It lives in supervision rooms, difficult conversations, moments of reassurance, challenges, accountability, encouragement, and belief.

Then suddenly, there are moments where life allows you to witness the outcome.

Standing there beside him, I realized something I don’t think I allow myself to feel very often: maybe I did something right. Maybe I helped someone in a meaningful way. Maybe the care, guidance, presence, and investment we offer other people matter more than we realize.

The word that keeps coming to mind is profound.

Not because of the ceremony itself, but because of what it represented. Bearing witness to another person’s growth is an extraordinary privilege. Being allowed to walk alongside someone as they become who they were meant to be is sacred in a way I do not think I fully appreciated until now.

This experience also reminded me that our lives are constantly intertwined with the lives of others. We leave pieces of ourselves in people, often without realizing it. Sometimes, years later, life hands us a moment where we get to see what grew from those exchanges.

And when it does, it can feel overwhelming in the most beautiful way.